June 28,2010

Since leaving Utah I have felt like an alien on and off on sundays. I can't really explain it except that I look at myself and say, I don't think I'm an alien, so why do I feel like one....Even though I feel that way I keep hoping things will be different...I am thankful for what I believe about Heavenly Father and that he is mindful of me...even when I feel like an alien...and the hope that things will somehow get better for me and this place of unwelcome and lonliness will somehow end... I have strong feelings about each person's individual worth and how Heavenly Father loves each of us in an incomprehensible way.....I am thankful for those feelings when I miss old familiar friends and feeling welcome in the place where one should feel welcome* the most.*

I am thankful to have known Amini T. and sorry he had to leave us. He was seriously my favorite of all Aleki's brothers and sisters...(and there are 14 of them!) Why is it the relatives I love most have to die first? My dad and now Amini.... I am thankful for the time I spent in Tonga and knowing someone as clever and witty as you, AT. RIP

I am thankful that today was the last day I had to make lunches for the boys in a long, long time!

June 23, 2010

There was no scouts...we were the last to know and drove an hour into Chilliwack...but J and I had fun, stuffed with blizzards and songs from the CD's we bought...

Two little ones that fell asleep in my arms today...

A car that did not break down....

Just enough of everything else...

June 19, 2010

One garage sale where we found a dozen dragons, Han Solo, Buzz Lightyear, a tinbox of Star War Cards and a box of figures from The Lord of the Rings...What treasures for a family with 6 boys...

June 14, 2010

just being able to take 5 little boys to the pool and actually having fun... (we missed you oldest j, but maybe next time)

watching baby float around in the rapids with a life jacket on...sooooo relaxed... and on his own ( but I was really close by...)

Little Al telling me today, after I spilled some water all over his sweat pants--"It's okay Mom, they are wet pants!"

biking in the morning with my brother...went 12 k today and even on the highway for some parts...I really did suck, but hey, at least I was moving....

sigh, just to breath and be alive...

June 13, 2010

for the new dryer that no one wanted yesterday at the sale

and all the other stuff that bless us

the new outlook on "things" and the idea to simplify

to make life less about what we have and more about time together....

for Sundays which are inspiring and can be sweet with little ones

and for hope...

June 12, 2010

vintage quilt with green and pink squares

helping at the garage sale and realizing how much others have done to make it happen...

for people who gave more than they needed to for the Scouts trip...

little treasures J found and looked forward to

the little one sitting beside me with his little hand looped around my arm. . .

faith that things will get better...and optimism that we might find a place called home soon...

my green stuff coming up in my garden

unexpected flowers with buds on them

J being willing to help at the sale today

Sis. T who was sensitive to J feeling left out and asking the other boys to include him

a short trip to the lake and the peace it brings

and that the dryer is still going despite how it sounds right now :)

June 7, 2010

For the circus and for the awe on my little boys faces as they watched

(also for Uncle Shane who was willing to come and help me)

For a honest real estate agent who told me the truth about the condition of my dream home (sigh) I still am sad about finding it and not being able to put an offer on it

A walk this morning...

A baby who smiles and laughs and love me no matter what I do....

June 6th, 2010

A new kitchen table!! It makes everything seem more like home. And it is pine wood (sigh, smile).

June 1st, 2010

For my very special "Spiritual" mom, Kathie, who has cared for our family in a way that we need just right now....

Pictures of the boat taking V. to her resting spot. I had it in my mind, but to see it just brought a peace over me...

For a husband whom I love....and that fact we are getting through this time together...

For a son, J, who is so talented and creative sometimes it is just overwhelming...

June 1, 2010

That my interview yesterday was not as bad as it could have been...

V is now laid to rest, there is peace in knowing she is been carefully laid to rest with her other family and that she is home... ( And I do mean home as in Klemtu, and home as in HOME)

For little boys who were so excited for sports day yesterday

For a new drawing book I found for them on how to make monsters...you should see their pictures!